That question brings out two general responses in people. Either they hate it and shrink back or they get so jacked up excited.
Lately I'm of the latter party. A friend just asked me that very question in a text, and I was gushing out a 7 page answer and was like... "this REALLY is the short version".
So allow me to gush a long version.
I mean, the past month has been a growing, growing, growing experience with Christ. I've read a ton of books (well, let me clarify by 'ton' I mean four. I'm in the middle of "Boundaries". That's a good book. I'm also in the middle of "Wild At Heart". I've finished the terribly, terribly titled book by Eric Ludy "God's Gift to Women"...which really is so much more about becoming a man living totally sold out to Jesus and under His Lordship than women (although that's in there.) But the Lordship of Christ is what has me all excited about the book. The idea of being an AUTHENTIC man with REAL strength. On top of that I'm reading a book by Rob Bell called "What We Talk About When We Talk About God". So far it's really excellent. I know Rob Bell isn't a favorite of all...but I think this book in particular has some GREAT ideas. Ideas like, in our culture we talk about God like He's off somewhere else. "God showed up" - while we know what we're saying...are we ingraining the idea that God is off somewhere else sometimes? Or by separating the scientific and spiritual...are we totally missing the majesty of God? The book's big question is, "is God still relevant, or is he getting outdated to the culture?" and his big answer is "He's VERY relevant." Let's see, what else am I reading...I think that's really it, but I have a big list of books that are next.
I've been praying through Psalms and oh my gosh...AMAZING! I think it's maybe the best way to study a book of songs and prayers. Sing em or pray 'em, and since I can't sing, I pray 'em. I wrestle through the ideas that the Psalmist wrestled through, and I have some psalms I'll go back to because DANG, I can relate.
I keep my giant NIV concordance chillin' by my bed and get exploring that. Last night I was exploring all the different kinds of "knows" in the old and new testament. Well, really there's two main ones. And they're similar, except that one is ALSO used in relation to relational knowledge, and even sex in both Greek and Hebrew. And that one is used a lot when God says "they will know me" and things like that. There's this deeper knowledge. This closeness to God. And that's exciting. Simple "no duh" things get my psyched up. I can easily stay up till 1am flipping through the bible and that giant thing.
And dude...God's put some serious stuff on my heart. I'll write another blog post about it more (probably many future blog posts) but I'm looking for opportunities to serve Christ and volunteer in Northeast Kansas City - where things are a little rougher. I was praying and got this picture of homeless people in need - and later this burning on my heart for boys and young men who need discipling. (Heck, I NEED discipling from older, wiser men), but the Lord's put a burden on my heart to hunt down what I can do for young guys there...and maybe closer to where I am in southwest KC. But I know he wants me doing something where people are a little less willing to go, with people that people are less willing to engage with. And let me tell you right now - it's a terrifying prospect. Do I have what it takes? What is it going to cost? (Not monetarily...mentally...physically...spiritually...) But it is something I'm fired up to walk into prayerfully. If I can survive migrant camps for years...I'll at least have some tiny idea of what's coming.
Anyway, I want to leave you all with a question... What does your walk with Jesus look like...and what's God doing in your life?
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Taking on the Porn Industry By Discipling Middle School Boys
Last night I saw the video on the opening page of this website:
http://www.unearthedpictures.com/
And there were lots of great things in it…but the thing that hit me….really resonated with me….was the line, “The way we stop sex trafficking is by discipling middle school boys” Wow. Now, I don’t think that’s the whole solution – but it isn’t something I see happening a lot. It’s a tough age…I remember.
Middle school – no matter who you are – is hell. And it’s the time (if they haven’t already been exposed to it) boys are exposed to porn. The average age boys first see porn has dropped from eleven to eight. Eight year olds are being exposed to pornography. They don't know how to comprehend that.
I was exposed to porn either in late fourth grade or early fifth grade. Honestly it's a bit of a blur. The conversations where my friends talked about it on the bus though - those I remember clearly. Anyone who thinks that their son (and increasingly daughters) haven’t been exposed to porn in some form by middle school (and that they're not on some level intrigued by it) are deluding themselves. Rather its an accident while doing homework, or through a friend with a magazine or smart phone, or some other person being sloppy cleaning up their porn habit, these young guys have been exposed to a false image of sexuality – as I’ve come to think of it.
And unfortunately it’s such a taboo topic among parents, especially religious parents. It seems that my parent's generation and older doesn't have a clue how to tackle this issue, by and large. I had a parent flip out on me and there was such shame that I learned how to lie and avoid and keep looking. I was caught in the trap of searching for pictures of girls in bikinis – and then topless – and naked – and then videos…and I had no guidance. I didn’t know how to get out and didn't have a clue what it was doing to my brain chemistry. I knew that it was wrong, but I felt such shame I didn’t seek a lot of help. And when I did seek help, there weren’t people who really knew how to tackle the issue with me and help me when I was falling apart.
And that brings me to the idea of discipling – truly walking faith out – with middle school boys. What if in our youth groups at our churches we didn’t just bring this issue up once a year in a “special sex course” for a couple weeks – if we even do that. What if we could foster and environment among these boys of openness - where shame wasn’t the main thing on the table - where the end goal isn’t “don’t look”…or “just hang in there till marriage”…but instead the end goal is to raise them up into men of Christ – whose hearts are healed and shaped and changed by the King of Kings. Men who actually value women for who they are and get angry about the culture that's around us and stand as a brotherhood to fight it. What if we foster the building and growing of true friendships where they can hold each other accountable and have the goals of Christ – to defend their sisters – to take on the injustice of the world – to be like Jesus. (What if we as men start doing that for each other more as well?)
What if these middle schoolers (and us) were like Jesus in his proclamation from Isaiah 61: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
As Jesus’ disciple, I want to be about what he was about – and this is what he himself declared he was about. What if we could engage with these kids right now and fight for their hearts. I came from a good home, went to a fine school, had a good youth group – but I had no one who would or could truly walk me through from a “I was an addict…and this destroyed me…and Christ rebuilt me…it’s worth fighting this war” sort of angle until I was so deep in it that it’s been a tough journey into freedom.
So what I’m saying here – guys who have overcome pornography – don’t leave your friends and don’t leave the next generation out there to go through the long darkness of porn addiction through middle school, high school, and college to MAYBE get out of it after ten to twelve years if they’re lucky. Be the hand of Christ that helps them - no matter how tough or awkward or uncomfortable or heart breaking it is.
I consider myself incredibly blessed to have met several brothers who I can be fully open with and say – dude – I feel like I’m slipping. I’m struggling with where my eyes are going at work. And it’s eating me alive. And I feel incredibly blessed that Christ has put it on my heart to have the courage to talk about it. Most people in the church cringe at words like masturbation and porn and I just can't be like that because there's too much at steak. IN the church 50% of men say they're addicted to pornography. IN THE CHURCH. ADDICTED. Holy crap. That was me. That was ME. And that's a lot of people you know around your congregation. And with the generation growing up on the smart phone its going to get worse if we don't disciple as Christ discipled.
Honestly, if I can be that to someone – if sharing my experiences – and sharing the riches of Christ that I’ve seen – and sharing the vision for why it’s worth dying to self – can make a difference I want to plug in. And that’s where my prayers are going right now. “Where do you want me to engage, Lord? At my church? With kids of lower income? Where?” I fully believe he’ll direct. And I want to encourage you to ask the same questions if you’re a man – especially a young man – because we have a “coolness” and “respect” factor that is unparalleled in a middle school boy’s eyes (at least I know that's how I viewed college guys when I was in middle school). We are young men with the world at our fingertips – and if we choose Christ and really live that out – not as an act – but truly live that out honestly and pray with and fight for and walk along side the next generation…crazy things could happen.
http://www.unearthedpictures.com/
And there were lots of great things in it…but the thing that hit me….really resonated with me….was the line, “The way we stop sex trafficking is by discipling middle school boys” Wow. Now, I don’t think that’s the whole solution – but it isn’t something I see happening a lot. It’s a tough age…I remember.
Middle school – no matter who you are – is hell. And it’s the time (if they haven’t already been exposed to it) boys are exposed to porn. The average age boys first see porn has dropped from eleven to eight. Eight year olds are being exposed to pornography. They don't know how to comprehend that.
I was exposed to porn either in late fourth grade or early fifth grade. Honestly it's a bit of a blur. The conversations where my friends talked about it on the bus though - those I remember clearly. Anyone who thinks that their son (and increasingly daughters) haven’t been exposed to porn in some form by middle school (and that they're not on some level intrigued by it) are deluding themselves. Rather its an accident while doing homework, or through a friend with a magazine or smart phone, or some other person being sloppy cleaning up their porn habit, these young guys have been exposed to a false image of sexuality – as I’ve come to think of it.
And unfortunately it’s such a taboo topic among parents, especially religious parents. It seems that my parent's generation and older doesn't have a clue how to tackle this issue, by and large. I had a parent flip out on me and there was such shame that I learned how to lie and avoid and keep looking. I was caught in the trap of searching for pictures of girls in bikinis – and then topless – and naked – and then videos…and I had no guidance. I didn’t know how to get out and didn't have a clue what it was doing to my brain chemistry. I knew that it was wrong, but I felt such shame I didn’t seek a lot of help. And when I did seek help, there weren’t people who really knew how to tackle the issue with me and help me when I was falling apart.
And that brings me to the idea of discipling – truly walking faith out – with middle school boys. What if in our youth groups at our churches we didn’t just bring this issue up once a year in a “special sex course” for a couple weeks – if we even do that. What if we could foster and environment among these boys of openness - where shame wasn’t the main thing on the table - where the end goal isn’t “don’t look”…or “just hang in there till marriage”…but instead the end goal is to raise them up into men of Christ – whose hearts are healed and shaped and changed by the King of Kings. Men who actually value women for who they are and get angry about the culture that's around us and stand as a brotherhood to fight it. What if we foster the building and growing of true friendships where they can hold each other accountable and have the goals of Christ – to defend their sisters – to take on the injustice of the world – to be like Jesus. (What if we as men start doing that for each other more as well?)
What if these middle schoolers (and us) were like Jesus in his proclamation from Isaiah 61: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
As Jesus’ disciple, I want to be about what he was about – and this is what he himself declared he was about. What if we could engage with these kids right now and fight for their hearts. I came from a good home, went to a fine school, had a good youth group – but I had no one who would or could truly walk me through from a “I was an addict…and this destroyed me…and Christ rebuilt me…it’s worth fighting this war” sort of angle until I was so deep in it that it’s been a tough journey into freedom.
So what I’m saying here – guys who have overcome pornography – don’t leave your friends and don’t leave the next generation out there to go through the long darkness of porn addiction through middle school, high school, and college to MAYBE get out of it after ten to twelve years if they’re lucky. Be the hand of Christ that helps them - no matter how tough or awkward or uncomfortable or heart breaking it is.
I consider myself incredibly blessed to have met several brothers who I can be fully open with and say – dude – I feel like I’m slipping. I’m struggling with where my eyes are going at work. And it’s eating me alive. And I feel incredibly blessed that Christ has put it on my heart to have the courage to talk about it. Most people in the church cringe at words like masturbation and porn and I just can't be like that because there's too much at steak. IN the church 50% of men say they're addicted to pornography. IN THE CHURCH. ADDICTED. Holy crap. That was me. That was ME. And that's a lot of people you know around your congregation. And with the generation growing up on the smart phone its going to get worse if we don't disciple as Christ discipled.
Honestly, if I can be that to someone – if sharing my experiences – and sharing the riches of Christ that I’ve seen – and sharing the vision for why it’s worth dying to self – can make a difference I want to plug in. And that’s where my prayers are going right now. “Where do you want me to engage, Lord? At my church? With kids of lower income? Where?” I fully believe he’ll direct. And I want to encourage you to ask the same questions if you’re a man – especially a young man – because we have a “coolness” and “respect” factor that is unparalleled in a middle school boy’s eyes (at least I know that's how I viewed college guys when I was in middle school). We are young men with the world at our fingertips – and if we choose Christ and really live that out – not as an act – but truly live that out honestly and pray with and fight for and walk along side the next generation…crazy things could happen.
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